I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
