..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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