what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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