He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
