we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
