yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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