You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
