I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
