and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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