btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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