You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
