Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
