There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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