my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
