Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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