Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Oh god it's open bar.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
