she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
