I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
