as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
