Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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