the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
