woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
