i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
