so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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