now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
