Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
