I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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