We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
