i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
