how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
