Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
