that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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