haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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