South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
