My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
