Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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