Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
