Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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