I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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