Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
