Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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