Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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