What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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