also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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