Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
