it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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