So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
