porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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