he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize