bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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