why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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