at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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