y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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