So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
