This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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