She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
