dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
