Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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