with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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