I wannas sexs uuuuu
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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