I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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