Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
