i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
