i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
