sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
