I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize