He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
