Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
