so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I need a burrito and a hug.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
