I'm going to jail i love you
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
