we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
